PSYCHOTHERAPY GROUP FOR YOU!
Dr. Robin B. Dilley presents an eight-week group to help YOU start the New Year!
This group begins Wednesday Morning Wednesday January 13, 2010- March 3, 2010.
Time: 10:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m. at 3520 W. Danbury Dr. Glendale, Az. 85308.
Cost: $325.00
DO YOU WANT MORE OUT OF LIFE? ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR YOUR IDENTITY?
Changing your identity through the art of play and the breaking of old rules is a possibility when magic is allowed to be part of the process. Take a look at these five identifications and three recreations. Each of these categories is a personal invitation to change. Think about how busy you and uptight you are and how unfocused you have become. Have you allowed yourself to sit with those uncomfortable feelings? Or, do you try to stay in one blur of mobility in hopes of continuing to dodge your distress? Activity usually produces more activity. The question becomes, “Is your activity moving you in the direction that you want it too?” Or is your constant activity leading you into a tornado of worries and concerns dumping you into some strange land where the wicked witch of the west is tormenting you?
In order to change we must look at what our issues are. Then it is important to examine where these issues come from what it is that keeps those issues hanging around. Once you are able to clear the worries off your plate then you have mental space to look at your goals, own your strengths, examine your spirituality and count your blessings, which can be translated to resources. Once your backpack is fully packed you will have the tools to begin the job of recreating a new story about yourself, recreate new goals because you have discovered your inner magic and dive into the ecstasy of simplicity. This group is designed to facilitate 2010 becoming the year you want it to be with a jump-start toward your success.
Ø Week One: Identify Your Worries
o Learn to de-stress
Ø Week Two: Identify Your Goals
o Discover your passion
Ø Week Three: Identify Your Strengths
o You are more than you think you are
Ø Week Four: Identify Your Spirituality
o Incorporate the Divine in your daily life
Ø Week Five: Identify Your Blessings
o Many of them are hiding in reality
Ø Week Six: Recreate Your Life’s Story
o Through the lens of bold living
Ø Week Seven: Recreate Your Goals
o Refocus-Refine-Recess
Ø Week Eight: Recreate the Way You Want to Be!
o Simplicity can be ecstasy!
Go to www.psychotherapyunlimited.com to sign up for this group today!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Growth Fostering Relationships
Today, August 31, 2009 I was reading my old BETWEEN THE SPACES article on the death of JFK Jr.. I reread it because I am searching for what I will write about the death of Edward Kennedy. While I was rereading it , I scrolled down and found my summary of a presentation that I did at the July 23, 1999 CAMFT. Below is what I wrote. I thought you might enjoy this in my blog until I finish my piece on the Edward Kennedy.
On Friday, July 23, 1999 I presented at the California Marriage and Family Therapy Conference on Spirituality and Family Therapy. I viewed the topic from a feminist perspective and how shame keeps women disenfranchised from being all that they can be, especially in their families.
Highlights from my experiential workshop:
1. Spirituality is the intentional, accountable process of making choices... (Since God created us as people capable of free will).
2. Jean-Baker Miller from the Stone Center in Boston states that a growth-fostering relationship consists of five necessary dynamics:
a.) Each person feels a greater sense of "zest" (vitality-energy).
b.) Each person feels more able to act and does act.
c.) Each person has a more accurate picture of herself/himself and the other person/s.
d.) Each person feels a greater sense of worth.
e.) Each person feels more connected with other people beyond those in the specific relationship. The above five dynamics should be central to all couples counseling.
3. Nathonson in Shame and Pride states that there are eight natural stages of development. When any one or all of those stages are interrupted by shame, our growth becomes impeded. Number three of those eight stages is, Dependence vs. Independence. During my didactic on Friday, I only talked about Dependence vs. Independence from a feminist point of view. I quoted Carter Heyward from Touching Our Strength that the goal of feminist family therapy is not to seek Independence, "but rather that all us should live well with others. We can help each other by living well together."
From my perspective based on what I see in my office, women have been greatly shamed for attempting to have a voice. To be a part of a coupleship the above three highlights must be addressed. The goal of couples counseling is to help each part of the coupleship to seek accountability and choice making that creates growth-fostering relationships, creating a safe balance between dependence and independence.
the above three points. In order to do so, shame must be healed inside of each part of the coupleship. That in a nutshell was my 90-minute presentation.
On Friday, July 23, 1999 I presented at the California Marriage and Family Therapy Conference on Spirituality and Family Therapy. I viewed the topic from a feminist perspective and how shame keeps women disenfranchised from being all that they can be, especially in their families.
Highlights from my experiential workshop:
1. Spirituality is the intentional, accountable process of making choices... (Since God created us as people capable of free will).
2. Jean-Baker Miller from the Stone Center in Boston states that a growth-fostering relationship consists of five necessary dynamics:
a.) Each person feels a greater sense of "zest" (vitality-energy).
b.) Each person feels more able to act and does act.
c.) Each person has a more accurate picture of herself/himself and the other person/s.
d.) Each person feels a greater sense of worth.
e.) Each person feels more connected with other people beyond those in the specific relationship. The above five dynamics should be central to all couples counseling.
3. Nathonson in Shame and Pride states that there are eight natural stages of development. When any one or all of those stages are interrupted by shame, our growth becomes impeded. Number three of those eight stages is, Dependence vs. Independence. During my didactic on Friday, I only talked about Dependence vs. Independence from a feminist point of view. I quoted Carter Heyward from Touching Our Strength that the goal of feminist family therapy is not to seek Independence, "but rather that all us should live well with others. We can help each other by living well together."
From my perspective based on what I see in my office, women have been greatly shamed for attempting to have a voice. To be a part of a coupleship the above three highlights must be addressed. The goal of couples counseling is to help each part of the coupleship to seek accountability and choice making that creates growth-fostering relationships, creating a safe balance between dependence and independence.
the above three points. In order to do so, shame must be healed inside of each part of the coupleship. That in a nutshell was my 90-minute presentation.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
SPIRITUALITY :A PATH TO WELLNESS
BETWEEN THE SPACES AND
YOUR FAMILY WELLNESS CENTER KICKS OFF
THE FIRST GROUP AT THE NEW WELLNESS CENTER
Spirituality: A Path to Wellness
Facilitated by Dr. Robin B. Dilley
"Spirituality," is an interesting word that often brings up a diverse set of emotions, images, and feelings. Sometimes our lack of understanding or fear of exploration blocks us from growing in our life in ways that can create a more positive perspective about who we are and why we are here. It is Dr. Dilley's and the Your Family Wellness Center's mission to create a safe place to explore all issues relating to health and wholeness. We are looking forward to providing a spiritual component that will be life enhancing and changing and hope that you will consider this first group offering.
WHEN: Wednesday Mornings
September 16, 2009 thru November 11, 2009
TIME: 10:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
COST: $325.00 for ALL eight sessions pre-paid in advance
($45 paid session by session with an 8 week commitment)
15% discount to Wellness patients $275 for ALL eight sessions
Eight weeks of personal spiritual exploration addressing some but not limited to the following:
Exploring studies on prayer, guided imagery, mindfulness and healing to be better understand how you might benefit a better quality of life and health by useful practice of generations of techniques that have benefited others.
This group will be a process group facilitating your questions, concerns, reflections, and choices that influence your belief system about God using symbols and metaphors as avenues to bring meaning to this word Spirituality.
To Sign Up or Questions: Please email drdilley@psychotherapyunlimited.com or call her at 60...
Do this today. Only 10 spots left and Registration closes for this discounted fee September 10th, 2009
YOUR FAMILY WELLNESS CENTER KICKS OFF
THE FIRST GROUP AT THE NEW WELLNESS CENTER
Spirituality: A Path to Wellness
Facilitated by Dr. Robin B. Dilley
"Spirituality," is an interesting word that often brings up a diverse set of emotions, images, and feelings. Sometimes our lack of understanding or fear of exploration blocks us from growing in our life in ways that can create a more positive perspective about who we are and why we are here. It is Dr. Dilley's and the Your Family Wellness Center's mission to create a safe place to explore all issues relating to health and wholeness. We are looking forward to providing a spiritual component that will be life enhancing and changing and hope that you will consider this first group offering.
WHEN: Wednesday Mornings
September 16, 2009 thru November 11, 2009
TIME: 10:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
COST: $325.00 for ALL eight sessions pre-paid in advance
($45 paid session by session with an 8 week commitment)
15% discount to Wellness patients $275 for ALL eight sessions
Eight weeks of personal spiritual exploration addressing some but not limited to the following:
Exploring studies on prayer, guided imagery, mindfulness and healing to be better understand how you might benefit a better quality of life and health by useful practice of generations of techniques that have benefited others.
This group will be a process group facilitating your questions, concerns, reflections, and choices that influence your belief system about God using symbols and metaphors as avenues to bring meaning to this word Spirituality.
To Sign Up or Questions: Please email drdilley@psychotherapyunlimited.com or call her at
Do this today. Only 10 spots left and Registration closes for this discounted fee September 10th, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
New Group Starting
What is it I want and how do I get there? This group will help you take a look at your dreams, ambitions, desires and figure out what is blocking your progress in obtaining them, whether it be anxiety, depression, or that old victim mentality that keeps you hostage. Come prepared to do experiential process work to take a look at how you are stuck and how to become mobilized out of past trauma, pain, or disappointment.
WHEN: September 16, 2009 thru November 11, 2009
TIME: 5:30 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.
COST: $295.00 for ALL eight weeks
with early registration NOW!
Dreaming: In free association, this word brings up several associations, such as, night time dreams, daydreaming, foolish, fantasy, likes, wishes, wants, desires and a myriad of other possibilities. What words come to your mind? In this, short point of view , I am speaking of dreaming as those heart desires that have floated in and out of your consciousness on a fairly regular basis throughout all the years of your life. What happened to them? Where did they go? Are you living them?
Living our dreams and getting more out of our daily life is the focus of the Wednesday Evening Group that starts on September 16th followed by Wednesday the 23,30;October 7, 21,28 and November 4,11. Eight fabulous nights spent working on you, your dreams, and releasing the old belief systems that keep you locked into old systems of negativity, deprivation, and your addiction to unhappiness. You are not bad for having those negative, deprived, addictive thoughts and behaviors. You have accumulated them over your life time through events and circumstances that have warped your view of your life. It is a common thing that happens to all of us. We live in a fantasy society that says you can have everything you want when you want it. If you don’t have it, then there is something wrong with you! That simply is not true! Here are some truths we are going to be looking in the eye.
Life is hard
You Don’t Get Everything You want when you want it
You will be pushed to your limits
Nothing happens for us by sitting back and wishing
So here is the game plan:
What are your priorities?
What is important to you now?
What is it that makes those things important?
Is it important enough to die for?
No, then why is it important to you? Also, if it is not worth dying for, then what will your daily life be like if you don’t go for it?
Is it important to give up something?
No, then you are beginning to limit your options
Is it important enough to change?
No, then maybe you want to choose a different dream or work on your addiction to unhappiness. There are no wrong choices, just an awareness of the choices that you are making and how they are or are not working for you.
Now, if you have answered yes to at least two of the three above questions then you will benefit from this workshop!
Get that dream out there. What is it? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? What texture is it? In order to create the dream into a reality we must define it as clearly as possible. It can be abstract but the abstract must look like a Picasso. It has to have some definition or we won’t be able to recognize it when we get there. Each night will close with a guided imagery for you to work with the following week.
Night One: Exploring your beliefs/thoughts.
Night Two: Recreating Messages from the past
Night Three: Staring the dragon down
Night Four: What hurts are bubbling up below your consciousness? Let’s identify them and attend to them...
Night Five: What actions are you now taking that you would not have taken before? How can you make those actions more concrete?
Night Six: Celebrate your success
Night Seven: Re-examining and Re-focusing
Night Eight: Action Plan for the next six months.
You can sign up for this group now by going to new workshops at www.psychotherapyunlimited.com . You might find the Saturday Workshop on October 24th an advantageous adjunctive tool during this eight week process. Check that out too.
WHEN: September 16, 2009 thru November 11, 2009
TIME: 5:30 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.
COST: $295.00 for ALL eight weeks
with early registration NOW!
Dreaming: In free association, this word brings up several associations, such as, night time dreams, daydreaming, foolish, fantasy, likes, wishes, wants, desires and a myriad of other possibilities. What words come to your mind? In this, short point of view , I am speaking of dreaming as those heart desires that have floated in and out of your consciousness on a fairly regular basis throughout all the years of your life. What happened to them? Where did they go? Are you living them?
Living our dreams and getting more out of our daily life is the focus of the Wednesday Evening Group that starts on September 16th followed by Wednesday the 23,30;October 7, 21,28 and November 4,11. Eight fabulous nights spent working on you, your dreams, and releasing the old belief systems that keep you locked into old systems of negativity, deprivation, and your addiction to unhappiness. You are not bad for having those negative, deprived, addictive thoughts and behaviors. You have accumulated them over your life time through events and circumstances that have warped your view of your life. It is a common thing that happens to all of us. We live in a fantasy society that says you can have everything you want when you want it. If you don’t have it, then there is something wrong with you! That simply is not true! Here are some truths we are going to be looking in the eye.
Life is hard
You Don’t Get Everything You want when you want it
You will be pushed to your limits
Nothing happens for us by sitting back and wishing
So here is the game plan:
What are your priorities?
What is important to you now?
What is it that makes those things important?
Is it important enough to die for?
No, then why is it important to you? Also, if it is not worth dying for, then what will your daily life be like if you don’t go for it?
Is it important to give up something?
No, then you are beginning to limit your options
Is it important enough to change?
No, then maybe you want to choose a different dream or work on your addiction to unhappiness. There are no wrong choices, just an awareness of the choices that you are making and how they are or are not working for you.
Now, if you have answered yes to at least two of the three above questions then you will benefit from this workshop!
Get that dream out there. What is it? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? What texture is it? In order to create the dream into a reality we must define it as clearly as possible. It can be abstract but the abstract must look like a Picasso. It has to have some definition or we won’t be able to recognize it when we get there. Each night will close with a guided imagery for you to work with the following week.
Night One: Exploring your beliefs/thoughts.
Night Two: Recreating Messages from the past
Night Three: Staring the dragon down
Night Four: What hurts are bubbling up below your consciousness? Let’s identify them and attend to them...
Night Five: What actions are you now taking that you would not have taken before? How can you make those actions more concrete?
Night Six: Celebrate your success
Night Seven: Re-examining and Re-focusing
Night Eight: Action Plan for the next six months.
You can sign up for this group now by going to new workshops at www.psychotherapyunlimited.com . You might find the Saturday Workshop on October 24th an advantageous adjunctive tool during this eight week process. Check that out too.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Reflections While on Vacation
Reflective Thoughts for the day, July 17, 2009
Today I got up, dressed, bought a Pike’s Place Market Starbucks in Waikiki and pretended to walk at a clip on the beach walk. It was about 5:30 a.m. and I soon noticed the homeless people asleep on water front benches. With some embarrassment my first thought was, “Wow, what a wonderful view and peaceful sounds to awaken you in the early morning.” I immediately checked myself and said, “Dilley, what are you thinking. You slept in a comfortable bed and you will have a warm shower, an indoor toilet, and gastronomical delights throughout this trip. They on the other hand will most likely wake up stiff and sore, wonder where their food will come from today and search the beach for a public restroom at best. Homeless people have always intrigued me. I know there are many sides of the debate. Maybe they did not make the best choices. Perhaps, they were raped, beaten, tortured as children and grew up to survive as society’s outcast; those you look away from. How long would I last if my life went belly up and I had nowhere to turn and no way to make a living? Look at all the things that I have to be thankful for in this simple paragraph:
I woke up. I was able to move. I was able to see, dress myself in comfortable clothes and walk in comfortable clothes. I had money to buy Starbucks, eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to hold my cup. I have taste buds and can enjoy the aroma and miracle of the sensation of coffee filling up my mouth and awakening my tired body and mind. Yes, I am still of sound mind. I have fingers to type and a spell check to help me out with typo’s and words too difficult to remember. I will return to a loving partner, a viable psychotherapy practice, and more comforts than many people in America.
Other people woke up today. Some of them on the cliffs of Santa Monica and others awakened in the slums of India. Some did not wake up today. Many woke up in hospital rooms other’s awakened to the anxiety of their friend or family who are sick or injured in hospital rooms. What to do with the dilemmas of inequity is the question?
The answer, notice and be grateful. It will make your day a better day.
Today I got up, dressed, bought a Pike’s Place Market Starbucks in Waikiki and pretended to walk at a clip on the beach walk. It was about 5:30 a.m. and I soon noticed the homeless people asleep on water front benches. With some embarrassment my first thought was, “Wow, what a wonderful view and peaceful sounds to awaken you in the early morning.” I immediately checked myself and said, “Dilley, what are you thinking. You slept in a comfortable bed and you will have a warm shower, an indoor toilet, and gastronomical delights throughout this trip. They on the other hand will most likely wake up stiff and sore, wonder where their food will come from today and search the beach for a public restroom at best. Homeless people have always intrigued me. I know there are many sides of the debate. Maybe they did not make the best choices. Perhaps, they were raped, beaten, tortured as children and grew up to survive as society’s outcast; those you look away from. How long would I last if my life went belly up and I had nowhere to turn and no way to make a living? Look at all the things that I have to be thankful for in this simple paragraph:
I woke up. I was able to move. I was able to see, dress myself in comfortable clothes and walk in comfortable clothes. I had money to buy Starbucks, eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to hold my cup. I have taste buds and can enjoy the aroma and miracle of the sensation of coffee filling up my mouth and awakening my tired body and mind. Yes, I am still of sound mind. I have fingers to type and a spell check to help me out with typo’s and words too difficult to remember. I will return to a loving partner, a viable psychotherapy practice, and more comforts than many people in America.
Other people woke up today. Some of them on the cliffs of Santa Monica and others awakened in the slums of India. Some did not wake up today. Many woke up in hospital rooms other’s awakened to the anxiety of their friend or family who are sick or injured in hospital rooms. What to do with the dilemmas of inequity is the question?
The answer, notice and be grateful. It will make your day a better day.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Falling Into The Same Old Hole
You know you have tried to change, but regardless of all of the ways that you have tried, you still keep falling into the same old hole. You have convinced yourself that you will never be any different, so you just climb back up in your tree and watch the world go by. However, after awhile, the pain of being stuck begins to beg for your attention. Once again, you decide to try to change. You climb down from the tree but the fear of change soon terrorizes you. Again, you retreat to your tree. If you pay attention to yourself, you notice that you climb right back to the same old branch. From that branch, you have only one point of view. All you see is the same old sidewalk with the same old hole. If you climb to a different branch, perhaps you will get a different point of view, and you might even be willing to come down and cross over to the other side of the sidewalk. The reality is that the hole is not going to change. The hole is in the sidewalk and you keep focusing on the hole.
What is that hole?
The hole is many things. First, it started with a crack in your ability to feel safe in the world. The crack continued to become larger because of its weak secure base. Shame fills the crack with all of the bad messages, scenes, and feelings from past wounds causing the crack to expand deeply into your very soul. The shame comes from messages that you picked up as a child believing them to be true about yourself. As you grew, the messages became larger and more shaming, focusing only on the parts of you that you have to come to believe are bad. In the very core of your being, you believe yourself to be bad, and then you draw all of your energy into sabotaging the good things. Now this is beginning to sound familiar, isn't it?
Let's ask some simple questions. What comes up inside of you when you think about changing branches? Do you say things like?
1. I can't possibly do that.
2. What will others think?
3. What would my parents think?
4. What if I fall?
5. What if that branch belongs to someone else?
6. What if that branch breaks?
7. I don't know what that will look like. At least I know this situation.
8. What will I say to others when they ask me why I did that?
See how quickly your mind tells you that things can never change? You do that out of your fear of feeling your shame and your inadequacies. You believe if you just stay still, then no one will notice your shame. However, if you can just allow yourself to feel it, then you begin to change it. When you deny that it hurts, then you have a problem. For years, you have been stuck in this shame spiral, and with awareness and interventions, you will begin to heal the crack and fill in the shame with healing and healthy messages, beliefs, and activities that will allow you to change branches, take a different look, and then make the changes you have been so desperately trying to make.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Communicating about the Big “C”
Developing Resources and Skills To
Help You and Your Companion Person
Communicate About Your Cancer
An Overview of a Workshop by Dr. Dilley
Cancer defines some things about us. But it does not define us. I am not a cancer patient or survivor, I am a person with cancer and who has survived cancer for 10 years. Why does cancer rock our world more so than some other diseases? Silence, fear, anxiety, depression, and shame, and what I call "THE GREAT UNKNOWN" all impact our experience of living with cancer.
What is cancer? Cancer is abnormal cell growth, stuck in the “on” position. It is the generic name for over 100 diseases that share similar characteristics of malignant cells. A malignant cell is a cell that has lost its mind and is sucking the life out of other cells to survive. 10 Million people survive the malignancy every year. So what is the problem? The problem is that the “cell” is out of control. It must be killed. It will not stop on its own. Thus, the wonders of chemotherapy. Then radiation to “make sure”. But the real problem is the fear it creates within us and between us. Thus we have to talk about it.
So how do we talk about it? The “C” Word ignites our innate Defense Mechanisms of survival. Thus, whatever stressors we have in our lives and our relationships become magnified with that sentence that each of us have heard come out of our doctor’s mouth, “I am sorry, but you have cancer.”Remember that day? I bet you remember every detail of that moment. You knew it was coming. You knew that when you saw your oncologist after surgery, that he/she would have your path report. You were already feeling shaky, scared, and lost, then those words fall out of his/her mouth and your world is turned upside down. Life as you have known it, has come to an end. Who do you tell? What do you tell them?
What are some safe ways to talk about the big "C"?
- Journal what you want to say, then edit it.
- Write a letter to your companion.
- Ask someone else for help to express what you need to say.
- Tell your companion, I want to talk, but I am not sure how to say the things I need to say. I need you just to listen and not comment. Then, after you think about it, we can talk. I just don’t know how to do this. So I am going to do my best.
What are some questions to ask when your partner has cancer?
1. What is the hardest part for you right now?
2. What does this treatment do to me/you?
3. What do you need from me right now?
4. Can you share with me what is going on in your head right now?
5. How are you feeling about what is happening?
6. I hear you are sad about losing your hair. Can you tell me about it?
7. I hear you are angry that this is happening to you. I know you are. I am angry too. It should not be happening, but it is. I am not afraid of your anger. You can share it with me.
8. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?” Notice how different that question is rather than, “Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?”
9. I would like to go in with you to see the doctor. Four ears are better than two. Would you like for me to go in with you?
10. I don’t know what you are feeling right now. I do care. Can you talk to me about what you are thinking or feeling?
Things to remember:
- Cancer does not define us
- Cancer gives us many opportunities to change
- While wrestling with this disease, it will be best if we communicate to our companion the things we want, need, wish, desire, and feel.
- Words do not have to be so scary.
- What's the goal? There are many goals in this race against time, however, there is only one goal that both of you have control over. That is this goal: Live the Best Life Possible in the Time You Have.
Live the Best Life Possible in the Time You Have.
JUST BREATHE
"Our breath is the bridge from our body to our mind." Thich Nhat Hahn.
Breathing, the simple act of inhaling and exhaling, focusing on our breath, the speed of our breath, slowing it down, warming it up, letting it make a sound as it comes out of us is a key to learning to reconnect with ourselves, other's, and our God.
Standing and watching is another way of reconnecting to ourselves, other's and God. Give yourself permission to go on a mission of watching. Watch for five minutes your backyard or patio area. See what you are missing. Explore with your eyes the movement, color changes, insects, birds, rabbits, hawks, and the nothing that becomes something as you watch with the intent of seeing.
Sitting and Moving is another way to connect with yourself and your senses. Sit and inhale, with the intention of smelling. Inhale the aroma of vanilla; change it to baked apple pie, to fried chicken, and now to the soft scent of gardenias. Stretch your legs out as far as you can. Imagine that you are in a swing like a child and touch the sky with your toes. Crunch up your face into the ugliest face you can imagine, relax it slowly and notice what you experience. Pretend your abs are a six-pack. Flex your muscle. Tighten your whole body and relax it slowly. See your really can sit and move with intention all at one time.
Touch and Explore is another way of connecting with what you already know. Now you can know in a different way. Walk through your home and choose at random five objects. Don't think about it-just do it! Take those objects to a comfortable location; get your crayons from the above exercise and paper. Close your eyes and spend at least three minutes touching one of the objects. Notice the texture, feel, warmth or coolness; what does it remind you of? Touch every inch of the object and explore it as if it is the most precious jewel you have ever picked up. Now with your eyes still closed pick a few crayons and color the object. Repeat this exercise with all five objects.
Now you are learning the real art of mindfulness.
"The point?" You ask. "The point?" I answer.
Breathing, the simple act of inhaling and exhaling, focusing on our breath, the speed of our breath, slowing it down, warming it up, letting it make a sound as it comes out of us is a key to learning to reconnect with ourselves, other's, and our God.
Standing and watching is another way of reconnecting to ourselves, other's and God. Give yourself permission to go on a mission of watching. Watch for five minutes your backyard or patio area. See what you are missing. Explore with your eyes the movement, color changes, insects, birds, rabbits, hawks, and the nothing that becomes something as you watch with the intent of seeing.
Sitting and Moving is another way to connect with yourself and your senses. Sit and inhale, with the intention of smelling. Inhale the aroma of vanilla; change it to baked apple pie, to fried chicken, and now to the soft scent of gardenias. Stretch your legs out as far as you can. Imagine that you are in a swing like a child and touch the sky with your toes. Crunch up your face into the ugliest face you can imagine, relax it slowly and notice what you experience. Pretend your abs are a six-pack. Flex your muscle. Tighten your whole body and relax it slowly. See your really can sit and move with intention all at one time.
Touch and Explore is another way of connecting with what you already know. Now you can know in a different way. Walk through your home and choose at random five objects. Don't think about it-just do it! Take those objects to a comfortable location; get your crayons from the above exercise and paper. Close your eyes and spend at least three minutes touching one of the objects. Notice the texture, feel, warmth or coolness; what does it remind you of? Touch every inch of the object and explore it as if it is the most precious jewel you have ever picked up. Now with your eyes still closed pick a few crayons and color the object. Repeat this exercise with all five objects.
Now you are learning the real art of mindfulness.
"The point?" You ask. "The point?" I answer.
Dr. Dilley's Clinical Practice
In her private practice, Dr. Dilley offers various types of services that include individual psychotherapy, family therapy, couples therapy, and group therapy. She also provides psychological testing, using one of the most innovative testing protocols available, the Millon Multiaxial Clinical Inventories. Her goal is to provide you with the best comprehensive psychotherapy services available, either within her office or by referral.
- Individual Psychotherapy is an individualized process geared to facilitate a journey of personal growth examining how the messages (beliefs about the self), patterns (ways of coping), and behaviors (ways of adapting) keep you repeating unwanted cycles in your current life's situations.
- Family Therapy is a process that involves as many family members that you can dig up to come along into the office and process the family genogram together. More often than not, a child or an adolescent is "chosen" by the unconscious family process to develop symptoms of behavior that are not acceptable in their family system. As a result, the family attempts to get a therapist to see only the identified patient and fix them. Family Therapy at its best is done with a co-therapist. The two therapists work hard at helping family members explore what really is going on underneath the chaos being caused by the identified patient.
- Couples Therapy is only for the brave and courageous. Couples therapy is not designed for people who just want to change the other partner. Couples work is the hardest work of psychotherapy and truly only the fittest survive.
- Group Therapy offers several different venues such as self-esteem, women's issues, couples work, anger management, and psycho-educational groups. Dr. Dilley often runs an intensive psychotherapy group designed to do serious psychotherapy work on the most difficult issues and problems. Call her office to check on availability of that group.
- The Millon Inventories is a unique psychological testing tool that helps Dr. Dilley look at your psychological patterns. All of us score something on any psychological test we take. What makes the Millon different is that it is not interested in pathologizing people into name-calling diagnosis, but informing people about how they operate in life, based on their top three scores. By understanding the triangle of power in one's life, then one can begin to make necessary changes.
- Consulting and Coaching are aspects of Dr. Dilley's practice where she comes to you and does a complete assessment of what your needs are and offers constructive techniques and ideas that will help you resolve some of your difficulties in workplace settings, educational venues, or other troublesome spots creating havoc in your daily life.
- Workshops on spirituality, psychotherapy, and the power of story are also available throughout the year.
- If you are interested in Dr. Dilley coming to your group and conducting a workshop to meet the specific needs of your group, please give her a call at 602-564-1919.
- Dr. Dilley is also available for phone sessions and on-line through SKYPE.
Introduction to the Impact of Shame
For a free download with a checklist that you can use as a self reflective journal, please use the link below. As a psychologist, I encourage individuals to write in order to explore changes in your thinking, behavior, feelings and physical well being. When experiencing changes in thinking, feeling, behavior, or physical well being shame is probably not far from the perimeter. I am working on a complete workbook on shame, but while that is in process, I thought you might enjoy a peak into yourself to begin your own exploration how shame may be invading your life, consciousness, and unconsciousness without you even knowing. I have included several lists for you to consider. Take your time and actually allow yourself to use these questions as a helpful way to get to know yourself. You could possibly call it a journal spa-day. As you allow yourself time to spend with yourself you may discover that you have had most of these changes going on for so long that you don?t even remember when they started. But, while you are exploring these questions and writing down what comes up for you as you embrace the question, you may find it helpful to search back through your memory of when you first started to feel this way.
http://www.psychotherapyunlimited.com/Images/Dilley_Download.pdf
Copies of my workbooks can be purchased from my website: www.psychotherapyunlimited.com
http://www.psychotherapyunlimited.com/Images/Dilley_Download.pdf
Copies of my workbooks can be purchased from my website: www.psychotherapyunlimited.com
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Fall Schedule of Groups & Workshops
EIGHT week Psychotherapy Groups
Facilitated by Dr. Dilley
BOTH Groups held at Dr. Dilley's Office
BOTH Groups held at Dr. Dilley's Office
3520 W. Danbury, Glendale, AZ 85380
Spirituality as A Way of Life
September 16, 2009 thru November 4, 2009
10:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
This group will be a process group facilitating your questions, concerns, reflections, and choices that impact your belief system about God or your higher power. We will look at the many symbols and avenues for exploration and each participant is free to enter into new meanings, awareness, and change as each participant comes to further understand their own needs, wants, and desires about this whole issue that we keep referring to as spirituality.
COST: $275.00 for ALL eight weeks with early registration NOW!
What is it I want and how do I get there?
September 16, 2009 - November 4, 2009
5:30 - 7:00 P.M.
This group will help you take a look at your dreams, ambitions, desires and figure out what is blocking your progress in obtaining them, whether it be anxiety, depression, or that old victim mentality that keeps you hostage. Come prepared to do experiential process work to take a look at how you are stuck and how to become mobilized out of past trauma, pain, or disappointment.
COST: $295.00 for ALL eight weeks with early registration NOW!
WORKSHOP
Making New Decisions out of Old Choices
October 24, 2009
9:00-12:30
The Franciscan Renewal Center
This is a combination workshop combining the two previous workshops Getting to Your YES and Living Your Life as an Experiment. This 9:00 -12:30 workshop is designed to help the participant let go of choices they regret and re-decide their YES by experimenting with out of the box thinking, actions, and beliefs. It will be a great morning and well worth your investment of time and money.
The workshop is being held at one of my favorite spaces, The Franciscan Renewal Center.
If you sign up now the cost is $69.00.
It will go up to $99.00 soon, so take advantage of this deal now!
My Philosophy of Psychotherapy
By Dr. Robin B. Dilley
Arizona Licensed Psychologist
602-564-1919
I am a licensed psychologist with a varied eclectic background. I have training in many areas of psychotherapy and try to match the approach necessary to the client. However, I do approach each client from a systemic perspective, believing in the system and not in only the individual. I believe each of us act, react, and recreate our past behavior until we find new ways of being, thinking, and doing. I believe this change is more than just a cognitive accent to change, but must be experienced as healing insight which promotes change from within. Psychotherapy is a process and it takes as long as it takes. You are the expert on that, and you will be deciding when you have reached a point that you want to take a break.My job is to be a mirror of reflection for you, asking you questions, challenging you to get out of your box, and assisting you with ways to look inside and create the life you want to have. I will help you unravel stories from your childhood and create a new tapestry from the threads you discover in psychotherapy. By beginning this process, you will begin to understand your situation in the light of your past, thus pushing through to that healing place that is within you.
As with any new journey, change can be and usually is scary. It will take some time to feel emotionally safe. Questions about the map and the territory will arise. I will be happy to discuss any questions with you during your session in order to help you understand the process of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is different than guidance counseling. I believe the answers are within you, and you will discover them as part of the process. Most of the time, I will answer your questions with another question. This can be frustrating, but necessary for you to take ownership of your life and your choices.
I act as your validating guide, affirming your process, letting you go at your own pace and explore your options. This journey takes courage and a deep commitment to change. Be proud of yourself for making this commitment.
May the journey between us be one
that brings forth hope, healing, and a sense of well being.
Sincerely,
Dr. Robin B. Dilley
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